Staying Married is Not about Staying in Love

What do you tell someone who is getting married? Good luck, best of luck, better luck next time... Marriage is a mystery, thats for sure. Lately I've been thinking about marriage mostly because I'm getting married.

Sitting at a wedding a few months before your own big day is quite an experience. If you manage not to pass out, you may learn a few things. After listening to John Piper, all I could think was Christ and the Church, Christ and the church, Christ and the church...and then nearly passed out.

The symbolism is truly remarkable. The bride or church is put on this pedestal and dressed in pure white and praised and honored as the highlight of the day. Anyone who helped in planning the wedding, is probably thinking that woman is crazy...she doesn't deserve this (aka bridezilla)!! The groom also realizing this woman is crazy gladly accepts her and takes her as his own.

The idea of marriage being about Christ and the Church is sinking in the more and more I think about it. Wyatt and I each had to write a word which sums up marriage for a workbook we are doing...I wrote selflessness and he wrote sanctification. Loving someone else is all about doing stuff for them they don't deserve because lets face it we've all got issues and when you get married you now have multiplied your issues by two.

I don't think I've heard anything explaining marriage nearly as poignant as the series John Piper is currently doing on marriage called Staying in Married is Not about Staying in Love (Listen now!). Frankly, its the opposite of what the majority of people will tell you marriage is. Marriage is all about love isn't it, its about marrying your best friend right?

He starts with the assumption that "our own sin and selfishness and cultural bondage makes it almost impossible to feel the wonder of God’s purpose for marriage between a man and a woman." He hopes to "set you free from small, worldly, culturally contaminated, self-centered, Christ-ignoring, God-neglecting, romance-intoxicated, unbiblical views of marriage." I definitely needed that! You will not regret listening to this podcast : )

He even unveils the mystery of marriage near the end of it, which I don't want to spoil, but will hopefully encourage you to listen. Listen to the whole series if you get a chance and let me know what you think!

Thought for the day: And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay ~Iron and Wine

Japan in a Nutshell

I have not been able to share as much about Japan in this blog as I have wanted. My lovely fiance has uploaded a selection of pictures from the Kansai region: Kyoto

Unfortunately, I will not have time to write about all our adventures, but you might get some idea from the shots. Here is a snapshot of Tokyo.

If you like the cuisine you see, you can get a taste of a large portion of it at a Japanese store near Schaumburg, Mitsuwa. The food court there feels like a little piece of Tokyo.

Next up, San Antonio and Austin. We love cultural travel and it doesn't get much better than the country of Texas!

Thought for the day: Good-bye, Japan! I'll miss you Kentucky Fried Chicken and your sparkling, whale-free seas. ~Bart Simpson

Are you getting married or getting a new lifestyle?

Materialism at its finest. I'm not even talking about the Cartier, Vera Wang, and Beverly Hills Hotel weddings you see the celebrities have. I'm talking about the Zales, David's Bridal, and Marriott weddings taking place across the country.

Where to begin, there's so much I can say from being in the world of brides for the last few months. Lets begin where it all begins...the engagement. I was looking at rings on amazon.com yesterday, they have a great selection! You can get the traditional solitaire on Amazon for $7.99 (see here)! And yet, I hear the stories about not being able to make monthly payments on an engagement ring or postponing an engagement for almost a year so the man can use his work bonus to buy an ginormous ring.

Yes, David's Bridal is the Costco of wedding attire, but from my price surveying and many visits there I would say the average person walks out of there spending $1000 plus on a dress they will wear once, a veil-again wear it once, and associated must have accessories. Tradition is definitely a good thing and is wonderful to preserve, but when did having a white dress for marriage turn into a designer event?

Last, but not least, lets tackle the wedding reception. I like a good deal, so I shopped around a bit to see what the usual reception places had to offer. Most hotels and banquet halls offered a special package for weddings. Let me translate, special package = $$$. Quite frankly, its almost criminal to charge people getting married twice as much as they would a business organization. Our pastoral counselor said he's been to many weddings where you see about $15,000 worth of food in the trash a few hours after the reception.

Ok, I have to talk about registries since its been on my mind recently. Wyatt and I are hoping to reduce our lifestyle and really don't need that much to furnish a 0-1 bedroom apartment. We went to register at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and the wedding consultant gives you a list of literally 1000 things that you must have to get married and should use as a checklist, just so you don't miss anything. Call me crazy, but I just don't think I need to have matching fine flatware that matches perfectly with my fine china and my fine stemware.

To end this long rant, my main point is that we live in a materialistic culture that tells you everything you need and constantly pushes you to increase your standard of living. Pretty soon you'll find yourself living in a $500,000 house with 4 cars, a TV for each room and wonder how you are just barely getting by.

Stay tuned for a blog on a podcast that has a perspective on marriage everyone should know.

Thought for the day: Subscribe to my blog, see the bottom of this page!

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